d i s e n g a g e

207/208/211

2011-11-25T12:57:00.001+08:00

This semester is probably too contemporary for my liking.

(I should probably be using twitter, what with all these one-liners as blog posts)

thou art inflicted

2011-11-24T23:20:00.000+08:00

what is this cursed need for human companionship.

lack of stimulation perhaps

2011-11-11T14:57:00.004+08:00

My mum just said someone once told her where the HDB flats look exactly the same, like in Ang Mo Kio, the next generation of kids born are more likely to be mentally retarded. It's probably an exaggeration, but it's a thought.

go away

2011-11-03T02:42:00.007+08:00

I AM SICK OF YOU.

or how you make me feel.

stop inflicting yourself on me.

go away.

这是一首简单的小情歌

2011-10-17T02:25:00.002+08:00

I still remember when I first heard 小情歌 on radio, before I knew who sang it or even who sodagreen was. 93.3 was using the opening line of the song as part of their trailer for some long-forgotten radio drama. It was only one line, but it was enough to make me catch my breath and shiver. And every time after that when they played the drama trailer I would listen intently for just that one line. It was that beautiful.

And even till today, sodagreen has never lost that tenderness which defines them. Although I'm no longer as entranced by 小情歌 - which I think is actually superceded by 无与伦比的美丽 in terms of tenderness - I still adore their songs. At their best they are evocative, and even at their worst (if at all!) they are charming.

I love that I have this affection for sodagreen that has lasted so many years (as compared to crazy fangirling over random kpop idols which fizzle out after a month or so lol). I love that I'm in love (and not infatuated) with them. At least, this is my best guess at what love must feel like. This mellow, tender, warm feeling, which I hope would never go away.

and this a love song which started with that first line. (forgive me for being unbearably mushy.)

i don't know what is a taeyang

2011-10-14T02:05:00.005+08:00

A viewing of the above video is necessary to appreciate the following chart.

Click to enlarge

y u so creepy

2011-10-11T09:11:00.002+08:00

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo...
-- Radiohead

but no mood to shop

2011-09-13T21:58:00.001+08:00

I need new haircut new wallet new bag new shoes new t-shirts NEED TO SHOP.

yodelayheehoo

2011-08-12T04:21:00.003+08:00

The writing exercise with Huan made me look at my previous stuff. I think it's worth re-reading this for a laugh or two lol.

http://afelis.blogspot.com/2010/01/hg801-lang-pu-stud-of-hum-lang.html

baking woes

2011-07-22T21:55:00.004+08:00

Hello everyone, and be prepared to listen to a bit of domestic blathering. Although I'm not sure who's here to listen to me, seeing as half of you guys have vanished. But anyways!

Recently I've decided to try baking tarts. Awesome! Now all I need is a simple 9-inch round tart pan! It's standard, it's practical, it's just a matter of popping down to the shop to get it. Straightforward enough, until I came upon...

this.

And these.

SO. PRECIOUS.

A tart slice is nice and rustic, but there is always something romantic about desserts plated for one. My dream kitchen would be filled with beautiful cutlery and porcelain dishes solely for serving individual plates of desserts at teatime. Sigh.

But returning to reality, I am now torned between buying a standard size tart pan, and buying mini tart pans. And if I do get mini pans, should I get 3-inch or 4-inch ones? Fluted or straight edges?? Advice please!

Forelle Pear Tart/Apricot Tart/Tangerine Tart

Edit: Although I guess another way to get around the pan issue is to make a galette. No pan needed!

the reason why

2011-07-20T03:17:00.004+08:00

“The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them - words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller, but for want of an understanding ear.”

- Stephen King, Different Seasons (via tumblr)

And yet he manages to express the dilemma so eloquently. But it's not only about understanding, but vulnerability too. How could I expose myself in front of someone who shows no vulnerability?

it's all in there, if you'll look closely

2011-06-18T06:16:00.006+08:00

i shall scream now.

a
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

应该不应该？

2011-05-11T02:56:00.002+08:00

Should I or should I not?
To be or not to be?

Between the devil and the deep blue sea.
Out of the frying pan, into the fire.

I should just die right now.

to the gods of rain

2011-05-10T02:38:00.008+08:00

This torture is insufferable.

Please, I'm begging you, please!

LET IT RAIN!

*kowtows furiously*

Pink and liberated

2011-05-05T04:52:00.009+08:00

In midst of the heated discussion that is the GE, I would like to make an announcement.

Recently, I changed my phone theme to hot pink. Thaas' right, hot pink. I've got da swag! Never mind that it sears my eyeballs and blinds me for 5 seconds when I look up from my screen. I shall embrace pink and be proud of it. This is liberation! Now my eyes just need to get used to it.

Although it doesn't mean I'm going to start dressing in pink from head to toe. Baby steps, people.

P.S. I hope the (slightly) satirical tone came across. And the target of the satire.

once upon a time

2011-05-02T00:16:00.005+08:00

You know that feeling you have when you have something to tell but you don't, so it feels like you are being secretive when you aren't trying to be? Not to mention it'll be wiser to keep your mouth shut, but you still wish you could just let it out anyway?

Yeah, I feel like that sometimes.

NaNoWriMo - where quantity counts, not quality

2011-04-19T20:18:00.005+08:00

Since I can't participate in NaNoWriMo in November (exams!!), June (or July? Less travelling) shall be my NaNoWriMo month.

It will be a good chance to let go and flex my writing muscle, and a good excuse to write crap. Quantity > Quality!!!

http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/whatisnano

JOIN ME!!

2011-04-17T20:05:00.004+08:00

"Those who restrain desire, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained; and the restrainer or reason usurps its place & governs the unwilling.

And being restrain'd it by degrees becomes passive till it is only the shadow of desire."

"How do you know but ev'ry Bird that cuts the airy way,
Is an immense world of delight, clos'd by your senses five?

--William Blake, "The Marriage of Heaven and Hell"

I like some bits of this actually... Except when he starts talking about the Bible. It's just not my thing...

life should be 1+1=2

2011-03-21T01:11:00.008+08:00

School is reopening again. T.T I shall not mention the stuff I didn't manage to finish. T.T Why!!

Anyway since I've nothing better to do (Yes I totally don't need to sleep) I shall rant again! Don't you like my rants? I know you do!

Anyway I just saw this movie, where this guy cheated on his wife, then married the guy he cheated with, then cheated on him with another guy, but he came back to the guy in the end. Now, seriously?! You took back a serial cheater? I know people take back cheaters thinking they'll change, and because they still love the stinking thing or whatever. Though I guess it's easier to tell someone to dump a someone they love than actually do it. But still! It's not rational! People should have more sense and pride than to hold on to something that they know would give them heartbreak right! Think with your headdd~ Don't you agree!?!

And not even married couples with families, which would make it more complicated. I can't stand stories of girlfriends who keep forgiving their cheating boyfriends. It doesn't make them look like saints, it just makes them look like pushovers! And the boyfriends too! If you are going to cheat, at least have the backbone to break up properly and not come snivelling back to the only person you know who would still take you back. Ugh! I sincerely hope I'll never be like those sort of people.

Although I heard of this wife who refuses to divorce her cheating husband not out of love but out of spite, so that he can't marry his mistress who obviously only wants his money. What a nice twist.

death is a cliche

2011-03-13T02:38:00.009+08:00

If COM206 has taught me anything, it's that there is far too much cynicism in the world. I had to sit through montage after depressing montage, telling me there is no light in this world, adulthood is bleak and sad, life is hard yabbade yabbade. You think you are special if you can see the sufferings of the world? You aren't. You think you are more intelligent, a cut above the rest, for spotting possible pitfalls? You wish. Everyone else is partaking in this dreary, heavy mindset of the age, and it's choking the life and imagination out of our souls. It's too easy to depict negativity and pass it off as art. It's too easy to trigger cheap emotions with gimmicks like death and suffering. If everyone is doing it, it doesn't make you special. Why is being happy cheesy, or even irresponsible? Being sad should be cheesy and irresponsible. It takes courage to be happy in the face of all the crap we are exposed to every day. I think that's as good a birthday resolution as any other.

Though my music video is going to be about alcoholism and domestic violence. You can't say I didn't try asking for something happy. -.-

and everyone should read this:
http://www.grist.org/article/food-2010-12-01-todays-diy-women-post-domestic

EDIT: I know my photo montage was a depressing piece too. But I would only admit it's a sign of my ineptitude that I had to resort to such artistic measures, and not of delusions of my ahmayzeeng-ness.

our resident population is 3.6 million

2011-03-09T01:05:00.011+08:00

I bet you didn't know that some modules come with extras huh! Well here is some kindly dating advice dispensed by your resident Slughorn. Uncle Slughorn says, the moment you step into the working world, your dating world will start to shrink into NO.THING.NESS. And if you don't get married by 35, statistics say you will likely never be married! And even if you do, say by 40, you will probably remain CHILDLESS. CHILDLESS! *faints dramatically* All of which spells trouble for Singapore's birth rate. So start hooking up and procreating y'all!

Tangent:
One can't even like cute boys without being called a pedo. T_T How can you say that when they are all of the same age/older than me! I'm so hurt. Do I look like a pedo??? (actually please don't answer that)

I should probably switch to older-looking people. Jacky Wu maybe. NOOOOOOOOOOO...............

it's not a sin to like cute boyish-looking guys. why euu judge meeeee.....

updates updates!

2011-03-06T03:20:00.002+08:00

This is so sad I didn't blog in February. I try to have a token post every month so that it wouldn't look so abandoned and sad... But who am I kidding.

I guess I should just record what's interesting in my life for memory's sake. Although some of you might probably already have heard about them but AH WELL.

Like how Virgins and Vixens surprisingly turned out to be the most enjoyable lit module of this semester, even though I didn't want it at first cos it clashed with the perfect timetable I had in mind for clearing mods. But I obviously don't know what's good for me. Just look at romanticism. *bangs head* It's all that crap that I hated in American Transcendentalism with Emerson and Whitman and Thoreau, and now it's coming back to haunt me in the form of Wordsworth's Prelude ARGH. Who I actually thought was halfway decent based on his Lyrical Ballads which I thought was cute BUT I GUESS NOT. Although the other poems aren't tooo bad I guess. But the topics are dreadfully boring. Self-reflexivity and the poet's fweeeeelings DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE. Oh dear when did I turn into such an unfeeling wretch. And what's worse is that I dismissed the Restoration module initially cos I didn't know what it was about and then I realised it was more interesting than Romanticism. D: I really don't know what's good for me. Not that I could take it since it clashed with something else anyway though. Oooh that turned out long. Are you still with me?

And Mark Cenite is so. Uber. CUTE. AHHHHHHHHH! *spasms* Love love love! Why is he so nice! He is so nice! And I think I see a vestige of a nerdy/introverted childhood still lingering in him, which just makes him cooler! (Or is it just my imagination?) It totally makes up for the unbearable quizzes I have to take every lecture. And his hair I love his hair. It looks so soft like down! Ok I guess there's not much else to say since I've practically announced my new fangirl target to everyone. I know he is gay and everything but gay boys are hawt! And I totally did not internet stalk him and found some recommendations he had for gay bars in Singapore HAHAHA!

And then there's Slughorn. Shadn't say much, he's not very interesting. I skipped two of his lectures in a row last week. First lectures I ever skipped, and the honour goes to him. :D

Why are all my updates about school. I really don't have a life. So sad. Well France is up ahead! Oh wait that's school-related too. And there are so many admin stuff that I haven't touched ugh.

And one year on, I finally deleted those cookies. :) Am normal again!

hohoho merry cny

2011-01-27T01:45:00.002+08:00

I want feelings. Feel like a dead log. And not in a good way either. Although I don't know of any good way to be a dead log. How is it that I feel nothing at all?

don't get caught up in the brouhahaha!

2010-12-21T02:22:00.004+08:00

Love? *scoffs*

It can stay in fiction, thank you very much. One needs a firm grip on it, lest it sneaks out and hoodwinks less discerning souls. Entertainment has its place, and it isn't in reality.

It's a myth people, MYTH! Don't start acting like idiots and darling cutecutes! Stay strong!

it's a pirate's world

2010-11-27T22:13:00.004+08:00

EDIT: HANG ME IF I EVER TAKE A PIRATE COURSE AGAIN.

yo ho ho. arr me hearties. if we would focus our mind on the transcedent One, we would be able to reach the Truth. omm. then you would realise we are really one being. amitabha.

more scandalising of Superman

2010-11-19T22:12:00.002+08:00

This is why Superman wears a costume instead of going nekkid:

HEADLINES: SUPERMAN'S CHEST HAIR FOUND ON THORN BUSH
HEADLINES: SUPERMAN'S IDENTITY REVEALED THROUGH ARMPIT HAIR
HEADLINES: SUPERMAN SHOULD HAVE SHAVED
HEADLINES: SUPERMAN CAUGHT WAXING IN PHONE BOOTH

we should stop scandalising Superman hor.

i rather go to school

2010-11-13T00:42:00.005+08:00

I don't know about you but I treat Google like an Aunt Agony/mentor figure. Whenever I have a question I look to Google for my answer. How to prepare for a buffet? How to braid a waterfall braid? How to prepare for exams? How to accept compliments? How to say no? How to comfort a friend? How to tell if I have Avoidant personality disorder? It probably isn't a healthy thing to be asking Google for life answers.

And just to rant: I hate e-lectures. I hate e-lectures and their stupid 100+MB videos that I have to load on my crazy slow internet. Optical fibres doth not runneth under my feet. At least I don't think so. ): I tried being patient and positive by looking on the bright side like how Timothy Go is kinda cute, but his blatant gayness just breaks my heart. What's worse is that the videos don't even play in their entirety after I tried downloading them multiple times. Then I resorted to streaming instead, hoping that it'll work better and I'll be able to watch these That's IT! clips in full, but nooo it's Disappoint Wai Leng Day!

So I spent goodness knows how long loading the stupid e-lecture and videos, both of which crashed multiple times (ok maybe just twice) and I'm still only at slide 12 of 26 slides. ): Which is why I came to blog instead. pfft.

EDIT: Ok so the videos were buggy after all. She re-uploaded it and we have to go see Timothy Go again.

behind the scenes: sewing buttons

2010-11-06T00:01:00.013+08:00

As usual, Clark was doing some sewing on his bed. He never did find anything as soothing as thread and buttons after a hard day at work. Ever since he began his job, he started collecting buttons as a hobby. He liked them clean and understated, and found joy in observing the subtle variations in his increasing pile of round white buttons.

Dipping his fingers in the glass jar thrilled him, and he fished out his ivory-edged buttons to admire. He found them at a shabby stall manned by a gypsy woman, sewed onto a baggy tie-dyed dress, and fell in love with the three eyelets in the smooth wooden buttons. He was tempted to use them, but couldn't bear the thought of losing his favourite buttons, and promised himself to save them for a special occasion.

Reluctantly, he dropped them back into the jar and chose the four-holed buttons with raised plastic edges instead. As he started poking his needle into the shirt fabric for the thousandth time, he wondered if this was a productive thing to be doing. He was forever sewing buttons onto his shirts, for they were forever getting lost. He sympathised with Sisyphus and his never-ending task, and moped over his unused ivory buttons. He briefly considered sewing on velcro fasteners behind the buttons, so that they wouldn't drop off every time he ripped his shirt off.

...Nah. He shuddered at the sound the velcro would make in the telephone booth. He would rather continue sewing buttons every night until a better alternative came up, even if it meant that he had to start inserting real lenses into his spectacles now. Clark gave a final tug and bit off the thread, and laid his white, re-buttoned shirt on the bedside table before sliding under the covers and into sleep.

---

Phone sex interpretation (kindly supplied by Xin):

Clark is a paedophile engaging in phone sex, and calling xiao mei meis in the phone booth. He doesn’t want to use velcro because he doesn’t want the xmms to find out he is ripping his shirt off (from the sound of velcro), so he rather sew buttons on every time. And he is saving his favourite buttons for a special phone session. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this interpretation.

now you know why!

2010-10-15T02:07:00.008+08:00

You would look at the man one day and you would think, I loved you, and the tense would be past, and you would be filled with a sense of wonder, because it was such an amazing and precarious and dumb thing to have done; and you would know too why your friends had been evasive about it, at the time.

- The Handmaid's Tale

insignificant first world issues

2010-10-07T23:37:00.010+08:00

shrivel shrivel shrivel all up
i'm doing a bloody good job of wrapping that dead prune of a heart
with layer over layer of stupid games stupid words stupid work
if i do say so myself

it's not that i don't want to empathise
but there's nothing left inside
all numb i wish i could say i'm all numb it's true most of the time and even when that doesn't work there is always anger and angst
foodfoodfood it's not my stomach that needs filling up
but stop throwing your words at me either

i'm sorry i'm kinda getting sick of you of routine of being so bloody empty
but it's kinda your fault too i think
or is it mine? i can't tell anymore.
you say it's not your fault. never
whatever. but i really don't wanna die

Energy needs to be summoned from the depths of my liver.

The Liver is deeply affected by emotions. Allowing emotions to flow freely, expressing them to their fullest and then letting them go, is the best way to nourish the Liver.

http://nourishedmagazine.com.au/blog/articles/nourishing-the-liver

fantasies are vicious creatures

2010-09-06T01:38:00.003+08:00

I have NO priorities. But still... T_T

And I ought to stop living in my head so much.

city, no, human(?) life

2010-08-19T03:33:00.003+08:00

And when they made love...in the darkness, afterwards, she would hold him very tightly, and her long brown curls would tumble over his chest, and she would whisper to him how much she loved him, and he would tell her he loved her and always wanted to be with her, and they both believed it to be true.

- from Neverwhere

A dose of wistfulness, if you were looking for one. Luckily it's only the beginning and things get better. They break up, for one thing. And one of them gets to live life.

hell part ii

2010-08-17T01:15:00.003+08:00

It all started with bibimbap, which Michael Jackson is known to love. We imagined that MJ's devastated (korean?) fans would burn bibimbap for him when he died. And with so many devastated fans, there are sure to be extra dishes of bibimbap, more than MJ would be able to finish in a lifetime (or deathtime...). So what does he do with all the extra bibimbap? He donates them to all the poor souls in hell who have no one to burn food for them, and earns karma points based on a credit system, which allows ghosts to reincarnate earlier based on good behaviour.

Alternatively, he uses the bibimbap to bribe the hell guards for information. As you may or may not know, ghosts are assigned a number in hell, much like prisoners. And with so many ghosts passing through the gates of hell, the numbers would likely end up in the googols, so hell decided to reset the number after every fiftieth-million person. And because hell likes to create an atmosphere of excitement, the next ghost to be #1 wins a jackpot and gets to halve his/her time in hell.

So armed with bibimbap, MJ bribed the hell guards with food to find out when the counter would be reset. Alas, MJ isn't the only one to bribe the hell guards (who are very very fat), and so all the souls would gather around hell's gate when the counter reaches 49,999,999, because everyone wants to be #1 and no one wants to be #50,000,000. When someone finally passes through the gate for some reason or the other, the ghosts fly as fast as possible to fight for #1.

The very sad conclusion of the story is that MJ was #104, so he will be down there for a while. We weep.

hell

2010-08-16T23:05:00.000+08:00

I would imagine, on a global scale, that the map of hell would be a carbon copy of the world map, just situated below the earth's crust. Different cultures have different beliefs about hell, and their beliefs must stem from somewhere right? So the underworld must be split into many different sections, and different hells would have different regulations regarding entrance, exit and punishment. But with the large amount of traffic which passes through everyday, it must be difficult for them to function independently. The ancient Greeks had a river called Lethe, which people drink from to forget about their previous lives, before they get reincarnated. Doesn't that sound familiar? I theorise that the Chinese hell buy water from the Greeks - and why not? They have too much burnt hell money anyway. Seriously, $10 billion dollar notes? I won't be surprised if the Chinese hell's economy suffers from hyperinflation. They probably use hell money as toilet paper. Okay I got derailed.

Anyways, so they buy water, which Meng-po passes off as her own special brew of herbs plucked from ponds. That is why her Five-Flavoured Tea tastes like pond. Why waste time brewing tea and plucking herbs when you can just order some muddy water directly from the Greek division? Come to think of it, why give the Chinese souls the brew to drink at all. I don't know if the Greek souls get punished before reincarnation, but what's the point of letting them forget about the torture? They would repeat their sins again, and that would defeat the purpose wouldn't it?

I was reading the Aeneid last night, trying to be a good girl and finish my readings (although I doubt very much if I would touch The Republic or Confessions), and got to the part where Aeneas visited hell, which explains this blog post, and reminded me of the adventures of Michael Jackson in hell. Alas, Jia Ni isn't around to help me recreate the story of M.J., so that would have to wait for another day. Toodles~

regarding fangirling

2010-08-10T01:15:00.002+08:00

I've been fangirling an awful lot these days. Too much, in fact. I fangirl over Kurt/Chris Colfer, Jane Lynch, sodagreen and Moon Mason, who is, FYI, a three-year-old TODDLER. Please just shoot me already. That's too many fangirling targets overlapping all at once. I usually space them out, not have them all within two days. Sigh.

At the same time, and because of it, I emo over my normal-cy. Then I berate myself for emo-ing over this sort of thing, and vow to do stuff to prove to myself that I'm more than just another ghost floating through life - like baking, or writing. Then I feel happy for having convictions and five minutes later forget all about it (cake? What cake?) and watch Glee instead. Thus is the meaningless train of thoughts which jabs at me during random moments of the day.

And now my mum mocks the way I walk too. SOMEONE GIVE ME WALKING LESSONS DAMMIT.

cos this blog needs an update anyway

2010-07-02T02:24:00.004+08:00

From: Low Kiah Ling, Pauline [KLLOW@ntu.edu.sg] on behalf of HSS Undergraduate Office [HSSUndergrad@ntu.edu.sg]
Sent: Thursday, 1 July, 2010 5:03:19 PM
Subject: 2nd Major in Communication Studies

Dear Student,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to read a 2^nd Major in Communication Studies.

You may proceed to register your 2^nd Major in Communication Studies courses together with your other courses on the scheduled day of your registration in early July.

Please note that courses under the 2^nd Major should be registered as “GENERAL ELECTIVE”.

Do feel free to write back to us should you have any queries.

Regards

HSS Undergraduate Office

-----

What the hell all I did was click on the application button by accident. D:

harems can be fun

2010-06-16T04:22:00.011+08:00

You know those how-to guides with tips on how to create a balanced diet, or how to decorate your house? Now Auntie Dawn has a how-to guide of her own too!

Auntie Dawn

Dear Auntie Dawn,
The Russian ambassador came to our palace on an official visit over the weekend. So of course the Sultan was all in a dither about his image, and adamant that he should look splendid. He had chosen his robes and turban, but was desperate for a good barber, having gone through all the barbers in Baghdad and not unearthing a single competent barber, so I invited my ten-times removed cousin-cum-barber Abdul-Malik all the way from Basra to give him a brand new cut - the latest fashion which hasn't even hit Baghdad. The Sultan was so pleased with his new moustache that he granted Abdul-Malik a palace with 300 servants to be built in Basra, who was of course terribly delighted, and me a spanking new harem for the recommendation. Just in the nick of time too; I was getting weary of my present one - they are all turning tattered and bearded. I need advice on how to put together the harem of every woman's fantasy, evergreen and forever exciting. Pray teach me how!

Royally,
The Sultan's Wife

Dear Sultan's Wife,
I thoroughly empathise. Only a fellow harem owner can ever understand the headaches and heartaches one has to suffer in creating the perfect harem. Fortunately for you, I've already done my research, and I'll be more than happy to share my knowledge with you.

For starters, variety is always good. You would want males of different colours, sizes, ages and personalities, in all sorts of permutations. Even if you prefer beefcakes over geeks, it is good to season your harem with some variety. No one likes to eat beef 24/7, and even if you do, have some chicken to bring out the taste of beef anyways.

Now, it may seem like we are choosing men like meat at the market (not that it's something I have personally experienced; I overheard from the servants. Of course I don't do my own shopping, we have servants for that, isn't that so your Highness?) but the concept is similar. A balanced meal requires careful planning, as does the perfect harem. Moreover, you want to be a good host when your sisters come to visit, don't you? Not only would it be polite to provide them with their requests, a well-stocked harem would cement your alpha female status as undoubtable fact.

And don't dispose of that muscle man just yet! Accessories can add much life and spice to a worn-out ex-favourite! Tie a big white chiffon ribbon round his neck to obtain that elusive delicacy he lost along with his hair, and place the lanky youth in some imported black leather skinnies to add some edge to that lost-puppy gaze. Many harem owners have the mistaken notion that their harem residents have no need for clothing in their line of work, but that's why they are unhappy with their full harems. :) Sparkles and spice makes everything nice~ You could even roleplay as Bella and cover one of your toyboys in glitter and make him wear gummy fangs (yum), amd then you could play Tussle for The Fangs. The possibilities are infinite.

When you next visit the city, purchase some beautiful little boys who you can keep as servants meanwhile, so that when they hit adolescence you can capture the first bloom of their youth. And when they finally hit maturity they would be able to replace the older generation. In this way, you will have gotten yourself a constantly replenishing supply of young hot men. Just remember to keep up those purchases. I personally recommend keeping a few of the old ones though. Sometimes there is nothing better than fine wine, ya know?

I leave you with one last piece of advice, and the most important one of all: Remember to be grateful and don't forget your benefactor. Remember to share - invite the Sultan over often to join in the fun! Enjoy yourselves!

Alluringly yours,
Auntie Dawn

*Disclaimer by editor: We are not promoting polygamy nor paedophilia. The rest is fine. :D

-----

I need to get out more.

shut your big fat mouth

2010-05-26T23:33:00.003+08:00

SHUT YOUR BIG FAT MOUTH

SHUT YOUR BIG FAT MOUTH

SHUT YOUR BIG FAT MOUTH

SHUT YOUR BIG FAT MOUTH

SHUT YOUR BIG FAT MOUTH

Oh wells there's no need to shout.

where i ramble

2010-05-19T17:59:00.028+08:00

Humans never learn from mistakes. This is fairly obvious judging from human history. All those centuries of evolution, and humans still insist on committing the most basic mistakes (despite knowing the consequences) like fighting wars, hankering after gold, pursuing beautiful women, feasting excessively, leaving things to the last minute, not sleeping early, playing too many computer games, not exercising enough, stalking people on Facebook... But I'm here to try correct this anyway by reminding myself why it's a bad idea to be doing these things:

1. Don't ever, Ever! eat at Long John Silver's. Every time I forget how bad the food is, and think of LJS as an alright food option, a meal there will set me straight soon enough. The chicken is dry and terrible, and though the fries are alright, I end the meal feeling like I shouldn't have started it at all. In fact, I'm now at the 'LJS is an alright meal choice' stage again, and probably need another meal there to jolt me back to reality. I have to break out of this cycle!

2. Ditto for KFC. It smells tempting when I walk past an outlet, but when I do eat the chicken, I feel like I'm consuming artificial meat blown up to KFC-size. Maybe I'll just avoid the chicken parts meal.

3. I would say ditto for Pastamania, but I'm not even tempted by it. Just don't go there. It's not worth the money.

4. Don't bother toying with the idea of having long hair again. Remember the hassle. Remember the shu-nu-ness. Remember The Bald.

5. Don't be taken in by flattery. This is more of a precaution, though I'm dealing with it pretty well, by reminding myself of the dark, hypocritical, manipulative, twisted, motive-driven world we live in. :D

6. Don't not keep a cat.

7. Don't... start a blog post and forget about it and go do other stuff instead. I dunno what else to write. Ok shall end it here.

Anyways my mum is making dumplings this year! Hurrah hooray! Who wants some?

--

Part 2: I came back!

I need empathy injections desperately. Somewhere somehow along the way all my empathy dried up and I'm now a cynical shrivelled lump of old.

See I watched this video last night, and instead of feeling suitably touched by the girl's actions, my first thought was that they are exploiting the audience's sympathy for their own ends. Not that that's a bad thing here, since it's for a good cause. I understand how ~~normal~~ people might be touched by a cute little selfless kid, but all I see is intent and manipulation of The Cute. Save me from the cynic in me! D:

#200

2010-05-12T23:20:00.002+08:00

ought to find a job
instead of sitting around at home
like a bum.
others have crazy schedules
which they can't fit meet-ups into,
and here i am
free as a fish
or a whale
whatever

---

some people can be so self-centred sometimes
i try not to be

homeless cookies

2010-05-03T02:07:00.001+08:00

Life lessons to know

2010-04-20T01:55:00.003+08:00

It isn't anything I didn't already know, but watching the MV for Plus Grandir (by Mylene Farmer) reminded me how important it is to be beautiful. She's amazingly talented, to be sure, but opportunities would hardly have been as forthcoming if she were a plain Jane, instead of the beauty she is. I'm not being bitter, she's really cool, I'm just being coolly reflective. Like it or not, it's the way life is. Everyone likes looking at beautiful things; it's unfair but not illogical to give advantages to the beautiful. Even handsome males get an edge over fellow men who weren't as lucky in the genetic lottery.

Which is also why it's rubbish the way some parents tell their kids looks don't matter. Looks don't matter only when you've already have them; what's left to prove is your talent. (I would say more, but I have to sleep.) Anyways, just do you and your future kids a favour and tell them looks do matter. It's not the only thing that matters in life, but don't be stupid and disregard it completely because of the negative aspects tagged to it by people who don't have an idea what they are talking about.

.-.

2010-04-16T07:52:00.002+08:00

I must not chiong at the last minute ever again. Xin! Take my advice too!! T.T

#195: of short hair

2010-04-15T00:38:00.007+08:00

Well, if nothing else, it feels really good :D

#194: i'm edging towards 200 blogposts!

2010-04-11T09:10:00.003+08:00

I want this hair. The wispy cheek length sides, the little peep of ear, and the choppy nape area which I'm sure slants up the neck, and only looks horizontal cos the model is stretching her neck. But the bump of hair at the back is weird. And i think i shall pull lots of hair forward to make a fringe, but not as short a fringe like the one in the picture.

I think I have got to pen this down, you know.

2010-04-11T03:22:00.003+08:00

Uni has been great. Really great. (Cue Bolo Santosi joke.) But seriously, it really is a change for the better, in many ways. Uni life feels like a celebration of individuality. I don't know how true this is in general, whether it is because of the course I'm in, or whether it is because I have been staying in hall, or maybe just a culmination of events - but it's quite an eye-opener and an identity-shaping experience.

And you know, I might complain about turning twenty, but being twenty, independent and adult-ish opens up quite a lot of paths, I think, that weren't previously available. Like I said, university opens my eyes to ideas and possibilities that could actually apply to myself, and that I were free to chase, if I wanted to. But they are definitely out there, advocating by example, waiting for me and telling me that it is possible to untangle myself from the mess of inhibitions I am in. I might not be fully untangled yet, but it is great being able to feel more confident, and knowing I needn't be apologetic about being myself, or who I want to be, and knowing that whatever I want, the big hypermart of Life has it all in store for me.

I don't think I've ever been so reflective on my blog, ever. lol.

good poetry:

2010-04-06T20:24:00.002+08:00

Something I saw in a forum. Ezra Pound must be the win then.

My backspace key is pissing the hell out of me.

exercise: exploration of an ocd mind

2010-04-02T02:49:00.004+08:00

"I like the square waffle pattern, and I love square waffles. I like to cut each square out with knife and fork, and savour its squareness on my tongue. Round waffles are upsetting. The not-squares at the circumference are so flagrantly... imperfect. I try not to look at them, and I stare at the centre of my waffle - not a square, but an intersection of diameters - but my mind lingers on the periphery. I cut past the border, cut along the raised ridges of the waffle, to get to the luscious squares trapped within. I always feel happy after I am done with a round waffle, though. A sense of- Victory, in leaving the ugly roundness behind. What remains on the plate is a waffle ring of unsquares, perfect in its satanic eternity.

"Square waffles are different. Square waffles are squarish. Rectangular ones are fine. Sometimes I can even accept rectangular borders - squares cut short. But a rectangle waffle pattern is a test of patience. I have to remember to breathe deep, and count to 10. Mostly, I succeed. Wafflehearts, however, do bad things to my mind. The diamond pattern screams pain, rows of squares subjected to an unknown skewing force, all made to converge at a Point. I cannot touch such monsters.

"Once, I went on a date, and my date bought ice-cream for me. I froze when I saw the waffle cone. I don't ever eat ice-cream with a waffle cone. It may have a square pattern, but human teeth were not designed to bite in straight lines. They leave ugly arcs instead. The knife and fork were invented to correct this evolutionary fault. But the waffle cone would crack under a knife, and what's worse than ruined squares? Oh yeah. Circles."

peter and the wolf

2010-03-31T01:16:00.002+08:00

CLICK ON ME

because my blog is the best platform from which to get this out
and because it keeps me awake when i read my notes
listen to the whole playlist if you want
hur.

EDIT: oh yes, i realise this needs something attention-grabbing again. umm. umm. um. Um. What's that? Did I just see the second-hand on my clock tick backwards? No, it was likely just a trick by my imagination. No wait, there it goes again! Is time flowing backwards? Or is it my clock trying to be nice, adding two more imaginary seconds to my day? But lying doesn't help. I'll just end up with a clock 2 seconds behind time. How inaccurate.

because i procrastinate

2010-03-29T02:12:00.006+08:00

That's why I'm blogging.

Just wanted to share this poem our tutor shared with us last week. It was amusing because she said she could recite this poem by Ezra Pound called "Papyrus" because it was so short.

Papyrus

Spring ......
Too long .....
Gongula .....

But we didn't expect it to be this short either. Yet there's so much meaning contained in four words! Well, five, if you count the title. And all the dots. Or ellipses, if you want to get fancy. xD 'Gongula' unlocks the poem's meaning with the allusion to her relationship with Sappho on Lesbos. And then the rest of the poem multiplies its meaning. I'm not super in love with the poem, but I do think how it creates its meaning is very cool. How much meaning can a normal person get out of 5 words? Though Pound cheated by using a word chock-full of symbolic meaning. And by using so few words, he forces the reader's focus to Gongula, the only thing which brings meaning to the poem.

Why I am procrastinating my readings with blogging about a poem, I don't know. But at least I'm blogging right? :D

EDIT: After some enlightenment, I realised this post needs something attention-grabbing, otherwise no one will care about/comment on the poem. Gongula is Sappho's lesbian lover. That's where the word lesbian comes from, see? Lesbos = lesbian! SO INTERESTING RIGHT!

dawn dawn

2010-03-27T20:03:00.006+08:00

I realise I have an unpublished Auntie Dawn letter which I finished a long time ago, so I might as well post it.

Auntie Dawn

Dear Auntie Dawn,

I got a lot of problems leh, you must help me. I live at Bukit Gombak, then got a lot of people like to disturb me. Like my next-door neighbour, she see me go market then buy a lot of pandan leaves very cheap, then she keep telling me to tell her! Not say I don't want to say lah hor, but then if I tell her then the seller got a lot of business then won't give me extra leaves liao right! And the next-next-door neighbour, every night play mahjong so noisy then sing karaoke, then I tell them don't so loud they go scold me bad word. Say them sing like crow like that they don't like. Tsk. Then my Ah Girl hor, nowadays say got what SYF performance, then every day stay in school until 9pm then come back. I scared she outside secretly go pak-tor then love love love don't study then die liao loh. How ah? Aiyoh, very paiseh leh, I ownself Auntie liao still call you Auntie. But then I need help, help me can?

Thank you ah,

Auntie Xiao

P.S. You so nice help me, I tell you where I buy my pandan leaves! At Bukit Batok Market there only 50 cents per kg, cheap hor??

Dear Auntie Xiao,

Well you can always call me Miss Dawn, I am yet very young and charming and very much a man-and-sometimes-babe-magnet still. I can see you are very perturbed by your problems, but this is Auntie Dawn you are talking to! Auntie Dawn always have an answer for you!

Let's start with your daughter. It is SUCH a pressing problem! There is no way school can suck so much life out of your daughter that she has to come home at 9pm every night. You must hire a PI to follow your daughter after school! I recommend:

A. Dawn PI Solutions Pte. Ltd., your answer to paranoia generated by too much free time! We offer the latest technologies employed by FBI agents! Only $5000 per day! Call in today and we'll even provide top-notch coercing techniques fine-tuned by world-class private moneylenders to deal with any inconvenient entities!

(Disclaimer: This is an unbiased, non-profit-based recommendation)

The solution to your remaining problems is to buy 500 kg of pandan leaves. The pandan-leaf seller will then be so grateful to you for buying up his stock for like, the next 5 years, that he'll do whatever you say. Tell him to sell your neighbour pandan leaves for $5 per kg, and when she asks, "Why so expensive?!", he should say, "'Cos you smell like smelly tofu" while giving a most deranged look of insanity. Best followed by maniacal laughter. There should also be flashing lights and thunder. Your neighbour will certainly run away in fright, and as an added bonus, she'll hate/fear you for the rest of her life and won't ask you about pandan leaves again.

So now you've got a whole mound of pandan leaves in your home, you need to put them to good use! Cook a pot of bo bo cha cha, using 0.5 kgs of pandan leaves, 2 litres of coconut milk, 500g each of sweet potato and yam and liberal amounts of sugar and arsenic. Bring it over to your next-next-door neighbour, because "you must be so tired out by mahjong and loud karaoke, this is to soothe your tired throat and rejuvenate you for another night of fun!" I guarantee that by the time you walk back to your apartment, the only sounds you'll hear will be the satisfying thumps of falling bodies. Don't worry about neighbours reporting you, they'll probably be too grateful to you for getting rid of the residential nuisance. Use 10 kgs of pandan leaves to make some perfume though. 'Cos corpses stink real bad.

Forever 21,
Auntie Dawn

SPCGPE - society for prevention of cruelty to giant pink elephants

2010-03-18T13:36:00.009+08:00

I am convinced of a secret conspiracy breeding in the NS camp next to Hall 10. Breeding giant pink elephants. Take last night for example. I went to bed at 4am, and there were BOOMS coming from the camp. They literally shook the entire building. The door trembled and the walls quaked. It felt like giant pink elephants stomping around. FEE. FIE. FO. FUM. (I assume they are pink cos gray is boring.) It was scarier than the cat fight and yowling at 3am the other night.

And this ain't the first time! I've felt (and heard!) them often too! I suspect they ill-treat the elephants. I don't ever hear any trumpeting, so they must have muzzled up the elephants. :'( Poor pink elephants. We must rescue them from the evil clutches of NS men! I have no idea what those sick NS men are doing with the elephants, but it can't be anything good. D: Buildings more than 200 metres away are actually trembling from it!

inserts smiley face

2010-03-15T02:09:00.006+08:00

Thanks all who wished me happy birthday. I appreciate it, especially seeing how some have difficulty remembering birthdays. xD And thanks for the present, really like it. :D

By the way, want Ga-in's hair!

General shape:

sigh

2010-03-13T01:49:00.007+08:00

my logical mind is telling me it will pass
that its not real
so i should ignore it.
i know it's sound advice
and i should take it.
but i can't ignore the churning
inside.

ugh.

well my logical mind is also nice and tells me i could just go for the ride until it stops.

i know it will pass
it feels so.

happy birthday.

it said three words

2010-03-10T20:31:00.014+08:00

You know the part of your mind which tells you things
before you realise what it's saying?
It's called the subconsciousness.
I can't believe it's telling me stuff like this.
Wrong.

wrong.

wrongwrongwrongwrongwrong

It's just a stupid, stupid crush.

because uploading photos is so much easier than typing

2010-03-04T00:41:00.009+08:00

and also because I have a remaining photo lah. Ok never mind, here's a 3-minute string of words. I call it:

Happiness

six, five, six. six fivesixfive
four five three! four.
five. five. five. four.
fourthreetwofour
four four four four five.
foooooouuuurrrrfive.
fourthreetwone
Zero!

I think I can be e. e. cummings the second. I am so abstract I astound myself. HUH!

Alternatively, you can name the ~~poem~~ string of words 'Ice-cream pop'. Or 'homework'. Or 'hair'. Or whatever you want really. IT'S ABSTRACT SO IT'S ART HUR!

I am so lame I astound myself. HUH!

the side of me you never knew

2010-03-01T01:01:00.004+08:00

I was promiscuous, a flasher and an unrepentant gangster-lian.

i am going gaga

2010-01-26T10:55:00.001+08:00

As above.

I wasn't going to post this up, but what the hell

2010-01-24T16:11:00.007+08:00

experience.

We all pay for life in certain ways.

You paid when you turned four,
And snuck out of your room
In the middle of the night
Because you wanted one more slice
Of the oozy mousse-y chocolate cake
Mummy baked for your birthday.
Mummy said too much cake gave you a stomachache, but
You opened the fridge door anyway,
And ate cake
In the frigid orange light.
You had to lie in bed the next day
And mummy wasn’t happy.
But you smiled at the memory of chocolate on your tongue,
And wished you could do it again.

You paid, when you were six,
For pulling out the chair under Maisy,
And you made the class laugh when she landed on her bum.
You also promised yourself,
After Mrs. Sun made you stand in the corner,
That you wouldn’t do it again
When adults were around.

You paid when you were nine.
Your mum said to get dressed and comb your hair
We are going to grandpa and grandma’s.
But you wouldn’t
Because you decided yesterday
That dresses were for wimps.
Mum said don’t be silly, you look
Such a pretty sight in your lacy pink dress,
Such a pretty little lady.
You ran to the kitchen in a fit of pique,
Grabbed the scissors
Cut off your locks
At the nape of your neck.
You wish you hadn’t the next day at school,
When they laughed at your stubby neck
Showing above the navy-blue collar.

Perhaps you paid at twelve,
At a sleepover at Fran’s house.
You didn’t think to lock the door before changing into your pyjamas
– It takes so little time.
And when her brother barged in looking for Fran but found you instead,
For some reason,
He laughed.

You paid too when you were fourteen,
And got your first part-time job
At the nearest fast-food joint.
You did okay for the first day or two
Until you upset hot mushroom soup
All over your Very Important Manager.
Needless to say,
You got fired.
Ah well, you said,
At least you got paid.
So you treated yourself to häagen-dazs
And the thought of the look
On your manager’s face.

And when you were sixteen,
You paid in blisters
When you shackled your feet
In heels too high to walk in
To go to prom.

You had a crush on a boy in class,
He was always so friendly
And had the most beautiful eyes.
You thought perhaps he liked you back;
His eyes twinkled so when he talked to you.
So when he presented you with a sunflower and chocolates
On February the fourteenth
And said sweets for the sweet,
And won’t you accept it?
You were so thrilled,
Until you walked to the bus-stop after school
Unwrapping a chocolate heart
And overheard Tommy laughing at the prank his best friend played
(She actually thought he liked her!)
On the dumb girl in class.
And you were seventeen
When you decided you didn’t like bitter chocolate after all.

You were nineteen when
You were handed a one-way ticket
To the rest of the world.
And then you recalled
A dream at fifteen
When you flew
Among the clouds.
You told your best friend
That clouds were fluffy;
You had touched them
And you knew it was true.
Don't be silly, she said.
Clouds are wet.
What a joke.
She was right.

You spent your twenty-fourth birthday at the bar,
Where for the first time in your life,
Someone said you were beautiful,
And you blushed and got flustered and didn’t know what to say
Because you didn’t know any better.
The sun woke you up next morning
Alone in the musty motel bed
Smelling the fetid alcohol air.
And you realised he said all that
Just to get into your pants.
You couldn’t even remember his name.

You were twenty-nine when you
Sat through a friend’s wedding
At a round table of strangers.
A shiny-backed beetle
Was making its way across
The red satin tablecloth.
And you squashed it
Just because you could.

Thirty-three.
Hating yourself
For imbibing again.
It’s new year’s eve,
And your life is playing out
Up on the living room ceiling
Like a grainy old film
You can’t stop watching.
Rewind replay rewind
As you try to pin down the point
When it all derailed.
But by now,
Is it any surprise really,
That Life is something
You never quite adjusted to.

Maybe one day,
When you’ve had enough,
You’ll take the plunge,
Or worse,
Not at all.

Crazeee

2010-01-18T00:31:00.004+08:00

I'm having a mini craze over Lady Gaga, but more so over Adam Lambert. D: Let's hope this passes by soon. I'm too old to handle crazy passions. Not that it's currently a crazy passion. But it shouldn't be allowed to develop into one.

HG801 - Lang Pu: Stud of Hum Lang

2010-01-16T02:24:00.006+08:00

Lang Pu: Stud of Hum Lang

Lang Pu was the stud of Hum Lang, and he knew it. The most handsome guy in all of the village, and for miles and miles around. Of course, surrounding Hum Lang for miles and miles around were squirrels in forest trees and tigers in mountains, so perhaps that wasn't a very good indicator.

Nevertheless, Lang Pu woke up one day feeling especially handsome, and went to stare into the bronze mirror on his table. Huh, even with a disheveled bed-head, his lusciously thick eyebrows still stood out like the mark of a mostly manly man. He wiggled his eyebrows at his reflection to make sure their seductive power still kept strong. Very good, they would knock young girls and grandmas off their feet any day. Lang Pu got up and proceeded to dress up for a day out in Hong Goo Street, where all the most fashionable people hung out in.

Lang Pu slotted his fan into his long sleeve and stepped over the threshold of his familial doorway and onto Hong Goo Street. Yes, his door opened up to the most popular street in Hum Lang, but you mustn’t be jealous. Not everyone can handle those admiring stares directed one’s way when the Lang Family’s big red door opens, but Lang Pu is more than capable of handling all that attention. He preened and reveled in their attention, and everyone clapped most enthusiastically, as if he didn’t step out of the door everyday and they didn’t give deafening applause every morning.

After exceeding his recommended daily dosage of vanity (=zero), Lang Pu set off for breakfast. Today, he decided he would have a bun. He set off for the bun vendor, and after surveying the day’s fare, decided he would have a red bean bun. He wiggled his eyebrows at the woman tending the stall, and the married woman of four kids and one grandchild (= thirty-eight years old. People married young then) wobbled on shaky knees and gave him three red bean buns. Lang Pu continued walking down Hong Goo Street, attracting admiring gazes all the way (“look at those sexy eyebrows!”). When he was thirsty, he wiggled his eyebrows at a little girl and she surrendered her cup of chrysanthemum tea and ran away. He mostly got his daily workout this way. His eyebrows had six-packs around them. That was the secret to the sexiness of his eyebrows. Not eyebrow pencils, not eyebrow straighteners, but pure, solid workouts. You should learn from him.

Soon, Lang Pu finished his breakfast and crossed the bridge to Hong Goo Street part two – yes, the street needed a part two, it was exactly 801 metres long - to buy some fabric for a new set of robes. He needed a new set of robes, in the latest kind of fabric. The robes he was wearing were already one week old. (You think it’s easy to maintain the reputation of the stud of Hum Lang?) He set off for the row of cloth shops, where vendors clambered to invite him to their shops to look at their latest wares. Finally, the vendor with the toothpick moustache and toothpick beard got hold of Lang Pu, sat him down on a gold trimmed chair, laid out his newest imports in front of him, and started his sales pitch. “The newest, most fashionable silk from Suzhou! You can only find it here! I’m the sole local importer of these silk! You won’t find them anywhere else! Look at the quality, look at the sheen! They bring out your eyebrows so well!”

And they did so too. Lang Pu compared a few bolts of silk and decided on a shiny dark blue silk which, in the vendor’s words, made his eyebrows look like seductive black cattails overhanging a pool of moon. He left the shop and carried on down Hong Goo. And then he caught sight of the most beautiful lady he had ever seen. She was clad in pink robes and had cherry lips, almond-shaped eyes, and above that, beautiful arching black eyebrows to rival his. Lang Pu walked over to introduce himself.

“Hey beauty,” he wiggled. “Won’t you go out on a date with me?” He raised one black eyebrow in alluring query.

She turned her eyes on him and said nothing. This called for more potent measures. Lang Pu took out his fan and covered most of his face with it, leaving his eyes visible above the fan. He wiggled first the right eyebrow then the left, and did a Mexican wave thingy with his brows that would have made eyebrow gymnasts jealous.

But there was still no response from the beauty. Lang Pu tried harder. He told the story of Chang-e and her lonely escape to the moon, depicted as vividly as possible using only his eyebrows and an intense gaze. It was such a touching story the passers-by around him stopped to watch and shed a few tears for the pitiful Chang-e. But his story failed to impress the lady. In fact…

“Uh… You seem to be getting angry. Why?”

Her eyes were narrow slits by now.

“You are laughing at me aren’t you?” She snarled.

“Um. No.”

“Yes you are! Showing off your eyebrows when I got mine burned off yesterday!” She tore off her pasted-on eyebrows in anger, took out tweezers and promptly pounced on Lang Pu. With ferocious speed, she plucked at his brows till not one strand remained.

“Revenge accomplished! I depart!” She departed.

Lang Pu was horrified, and touched the area above his eyes. No… no brows! My beautiful brows! My sexy, alluring, magnificent amazingwondroussuperwthbbqlol eyebrows! Gone! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Lang Pu went mad and ran amok and tore off the eyebrows of anyone he could get hold of. The town obviously didn’t like this and threw him into a gray stone room and locked him there for eternity even though he was the stud of Ham Lung. I mean Hum Lang. I am bored of this story and Lang Pu so good night and good bye hope you had a good time.

----

Just for your info the module really is Language Puzzle: The Study of Human Language. Ho. The story might not be very funny but I felt Lang Pu just must need a story of his own you know. Even if its a rather sad ending for him. Boo hoo. We shall mourn for his eyebrows.

Boots and a baby

2009-12-29T02:28:00.002+08:00

A life excerpt:

The woman with the pram was blocking her way. She looked on as the mum first pushed her pram to the right then reversed and tried to move forwards between the shelves instead. Increasingly impatient, she continued to regard the mother’s clumsy attempt to manoeuvre her way out of the cramped intersection, marked out by shoe boxes stacked higgledy-piggledy at the ends of shelves. She narrowed her eyes. Was she supposed to be understanding towards this inconvenience and her plight? It certainly wasn’t her decision to have a kid and all its accompanying troubles. So why was she being punished along with her? If she had a baby and hadn’t the strength to carry it, she should stay at home until it was old enough to walk. And then she wouldn’t need to shop for shoes in the first place.

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other as she waited for the mother to extricate herself.

“Sorry, sorry,” said the woman when she finally wrenched her pram free, bobbing her head in embarrassment as she did so.

She pulled the edges of her mouth into a bland smile as she replied, “it’s fine,” and stalked off in her platform boots.

---

Written by me, and obviously not an excerpt from my life.

Ho Ho Ho...

2009-12-25T14:17:00.003+08:00

Nicholas Was…

Older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die.

The dwarfish natives of the Arctic caverns did not speak his language, but conversed in their own, twittering tongue, conducted incomprehensible rituals, when they were not actually working in the factories.

Once every year they forced him, sobbing & protesting, into Endless Night. During the journey he would stand near every child in the world, leave one of the dwarves’ invisible gifts by its bedside. The children slept, frozen into time.

He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and Judas. His punishment was harsher.

Ho.

Ho.

Ho.

- Neil Gaiman

Merry Christmas!

The Stud of Hum Lang

2009-12-22T09:15:00.004+08:00

I think this is hilarious:

I think someone should write a short story about Lang Pu, stud of Hum Lang, and probably heartbreaker of many girls. xD

Well I was bored

2009-12-21T02:20:00.005+08:00

Kung-fu baby!
rofl I suspect that might not be a real baby. Which baby looks like that??

cookie :D
His expressions are hilarious, especially near the end.

---

Can't be bothered to blog about the trip so shall post pictures instead.

Ferris wheel

Chocolate mousse cake with fancy christmas topping at Starbucks

Lots of flower shots at some 玫瑰山莊:

Really liked the sunflower, looks so stately, aha.

You know my photos would look much more professional if I had a fancy schmancy border around it.

I like teh pineapple.

Malaysian license plates are far more interesting...

how do you return to the naïvety of the past?

2009-11-23T23:38:00.005+08:00

If you ever meet an air-sprite, don't let her touch the ground, for the stain of dirt will weigh so heavily she'll fall and crumple into a heap.

Not the post you have been waiting for

2009-11-18T17:49:00.003+08:00

it's not about choices
there is no room for alternatives
no room for questioning
so stick to your path
and don't look back

Suicide is not for me

2009-09-29T01:00:00.005+08:00

I don't believe in suicide. Suicides are for losers. It's escapism. It's not like it actually solves anything or makes people change their minds about you. Accidents are a whole different story. BAM! Oops, didn't ask for it, couldn't help it. How convenient though.

a ramble into brambles

2009-09-28T23:42:00.006+08:00

I could be bitter and rant about things, but what would be the point? It's fine and well to keep these things in a closet to fumble with, but when transformed into longitudinal waves they just sound terribly lame and whiny. I know I know I'm weak to be so affected by such things, and too weak to actually deal with it, so the best I can do is brick it up and let it hopefully be overgrown with weeds and forgotten. What might be carthartic is really a stream of muddy water no one would deign to set eyes upon and really just embarassing to be seen at all.

Observation of the (yester)Day

2009-09-27T23:26:00.006+08:00

While I was on the MRT chatting with Huan (who was leaning against the glass panel), I saw the man sitting in the corner seat picking absent-mindedly at old gum wedged in the crook of the metal handlebar next to him.

Fill in the blank

2009-04-28T14:22:00.004+08:00

I think I haven't blogged for over a month now. There's nothing going on in my life right now that I feel like blogging about. But I guess I'll just dictate the happenings of my life right now, just for the sake of it.

(Are you guys really interested in a blog post in which I just report my life?)

There's the upcoming SAT test on Saturday, the essay part of which I'm scared of like crazy, but otherwise, everything else is fine. Except for the points I keep donating to the Careless Mistake Fund. -o- Need to learn how to read every single option for the English section and not do mental calculations for the Math part. Zzz.

And on Monday I'm starting on the LTA job, which last for a week, though it will be "subjected to extension" - my mum says probationary period. D: I'm really doing it cos I'm bored out of my mind by the monotony pervading my life right now. The money that comes along with it is a nice bonus, aha. Even a week's work would give me $200 to spend. $100 is reserved for my sodagreen fund. And $20 for aCash. I wang bao zha hair. The rest goes into savings. Aren't I a good girl? 40% of my salary goes into savings! But I really shouldn't be counting my chickens before they hatch. They might turn out to be ostrich eggs.

Cookie heaven

2009-03-17T03:03:00.003+08:00

Die. Just DIE.

*dies*

Right now...

2009-03-14T00:47:00.001+08:00

I'm 19. But I feel like 30. Jaded. Grumpy. Bah.

I made key lime meltaways

2009-03-10T23:42:00.003+08:00

There.

That was what I baked this ~~afternoon~~ night. Well I prepared the cookie dough to chill in the fridge in the afternoon, and by the time I took it out it had slipped into evening. I had fun creaming the butter and sugar, though I creamed my right arm in the process too. -.- Never mind, I don't think it'll cramp in the morning. And I had a bit too much fun rolling the dough. It was hypnotising. Aha.

The cookies look exactly like their counterparts in smittenkitchen, though I would like to think that mine looks a wee bit more delicious because I coated it more uniformly with sugar, heh.

Taste-wise, it was as perfect as I could've hoped for it to be, even though I skipped the vanilla extract - ran out of it. The icing sugar lent a hand in enhancing the meltaway aspect of the cookie, which was soft and buttery on the tongue, yet firm enough to hold. And wrapped in the initial sweet taste of the sugar coating was a lime taste that burst forth, pleasantly tangy yet not overly sour. At first I was afraid that I didn't zest the limes enough, though I did the best I could with the lousy hand grater I had. But the sweet-sour balance was just perfect, at least for me, because I didn't want too much of a mouth-puckering sourness; just a hint of lime in the background was enough.

The cookie would have been even more perfect had I been able to get rid of the nutty cookie taste in the background, so that it would be like a cross between a normal cookie and a sugee cookie. I did a little quick research on google and apparently, making sugee cookies entails the use of semolina flour, whatever that is. So substituting semolina for some of the normal flour might actually work. But this is all wild and baseless hypothesising by a baking noob, so don't think it might actually work. But then again you never know. Though you first need to be able to find semolina flour. It sounds expensive.

By the way, key limes are just our normal limes we squeeze over hokkien mee. In ang moh land it's called key limes cos of some lengthy reason which you can check on Wikipedia.

[edit] Eh forgot to put this in. I would go as far as to say that this attempt was my best one yet (since the raspberry muffins. Remember? Yum). I would almost give it 100% in terms of success, in that it looked exactly as it did in the pictures and didn't let me down with the taste, but I take 5% off because of the nutty taste and another 5% off for the oversight about the vanilla extract.

I really want another hamster... I shadn't go for a pretty one this time. Not to say that the other breeds are necessarily ugly, but roborovskis aren't exactly what you are looking for when you want to cuddle and hold a hamster in your hand. They are too fast and go all over the place and avoid you when possible. It was nice though, during the rare moments when they actually did stay in the hand. Sigh. Miss them.

And I think I'm going to get urinary tract infection from holding in my pee all the time.

resolution

2009-03-08T07:30:00.003+08:00

This birthday, i hope for nothing more than your sincere best wishes. And here is me sincerely hoping the best for every one of you.

I confess

2009-03-04T23:30:00.000+08:00

I confess.

I don't actually want a job. I only am trying (and admittedly not hard enough) to do so only because, one, everyone else already has a job or is trying to get one; two, my mum expects me to do so; three, there is this vague but certainly omnipresent expectation by society which decrees that to be accepted as a Respected Member Of Society you need to get off your ass and get a job because That Is What Everyone Else Does, So You Must Follow Suit. Getting a job for the above reasons is just to fend off the sense of guilt society feels it has a right to inflict on me. Golden reason number four is because a job brings Money, and Money brings Happiness. (Why, oh why have I turned into this slobbering creature obsessed with money?)

Personally, I want a job to regain a sense of drive and cease floating around being aimless and leading a very pointless life. And what's holding me back is a disgusting irrational lack of confidence and a conviction that I will screw up and the fear of strict obnoxious bosses and getting scolded by them.

I confess too, that I'm insecure. I seek encouragement, assurance that I'm doing alright now and every step of the way. I psycho-analyse too much, overrationalise, and think myself into a stalemate. I either get overly defensive and hence get overly offensive, or I engage in frequent self-bashing.

Look, me, you aren't a retard. You are smart - if not a genius, are at least equipped with a respectable level of intelligence. Why are you letting your inconfidence pull you down and prevent you from achieving your best?

I think my mind is rotting. I forget things. Often my mind is like a smokescreen, things slide in and out of focus, I lose track of my own train of thought. Zero ability to concentrate. Though that isn't entirely a new occurrence... I highly suspect that its somehow related to the cause of my current sluggish reading speed, which definitely started after the 'O' levels. Sigh. What has happened to me? I'm like a shadow of my secondary school self. I hardly read anymore, I ~~hardly~~ never draw anymore, I'm overly concerned with how people view me (well this isn't new, but it's definitely worsened in the past 2 years).

I need to become more confident! Say YES more often! Be a Yes (Wo)Man! Though I haven't watch that movie.

Just a short little note

2009-03-02T00:55:00.004+08:00

Not to sound narcissistic or anything, but if anyone is planning to buy sodagreen albums for my birthday present, I have to - heartbreakingly - suggest for you not to. Not that I've fallen out of love with sodagreen (I am aghast at the idea), but I don't want to accidentally receive the China version. (I want the Taiwan version cos it's apparently of better quality. And anyway I think only I ~~had even bothered to notice~~ am able to tell the difference between the two.) It'll cause much grief to both the receiver and the giver. And it will also cause much headache if I receive duplicates of one album from different parties.

BUT, if you have never considered/intended/planned on buying me a sodagreen album, you can totally ignore this note. It's just a little just-in-case thing. Better to voice it out first than to actually fret about it later. Just to nullify the effect of that post I had a few months ago when I was ~~begging~~ requesting for sodagreen albums/DVD, if you still remember it.

Some people bought stuff

2009-02-24T12:23:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was a day of profligate spending. That doesn't mean I did all the wanton spending, it means there were people around me who did, too. To start off with, instead of buying the Garnier facial scrub which I had intended to buy, I bought this strawberry facial cleanser that the promoter was persuading me to buy instead. So off I went to the counter to pay $16 for something that was almost half the size of the Garnier scrub. She claimed it was more effective and less harsh. Well I guess it's worth a shot, seeing how strawberry extract is the first item in the ingredient list (after water, of course). If nothing else, it smells really nice. And goodness knows that I'm going to make it last as long as possible.

My mum went out yesterday and came back with a spanking new handphone. -__- What a waste of money, I told her. Cos everyone already has a phone of their own, and there is another 3 brand new phones in storage that no one has used. Then she said she bought it using a voucher so it was worth it to buy one to play with. Play, she said. -__- Well, so play I will. She bought the LG Renoir phone for 50 bucks, so it was ok I guess. Well I wasn't very fond of its design, cos its sibling Viewty is so much more drool-worthy. But the screen colours are really juicy and vibrant, better than my N85, which also has this glare that hurts your eyes if you look at it in the dark for too long. While Renoir is bright and sharp without being glaring. Its audio speakers are unspeakably atrocious though. I played 无与伦比的美丽 from youtube using both Renoir and N85, and while N85 was decent, Renoir completely murdered the song. Lots of static and I don't know what. I'm actually typing this entire post on the Renoir now. The touchscreen keyboard is decent, but the rest of the touchscreen capability is kind of frustrating to use at times. I've experienced better with the Apple iPhone. (I imagine that this name would sound really cheesy in 10 years' time.) The conclusion is, I want an iPhone. xD

sodagreen and music

2009-02-17T02:54:00.014+08:00

Was just watching a sodagreen in Paris at the MIDEM festival video where they were singing 这天, and I suddenly wanted to hear their song with the words mussed up so I would perceive the song as a non-Chinese speaking person would. So I thought the melody could possibly be replaced by a instrument, like a piano or something. But then the emotion in his voice, which is the only thing the audience could understand (assuming that the audience was French/non-Chinese. But it seems like the audience largely comprised of Chinese people), would have been lost. Because there is no instrument quite like the voice in its range of expression and ability to convey nuances and subtleties of emotion. But I guess replacing the words with rubbish sounds would do as well eh. Teach him how, Huan!

这天 *click on me!!*

(Off-topic: 青峰 went off-key! xD I don't know why I'm so amused actually. I thought he was famous for his fabulous on-key/pitch/note/tune a.k.a. perfect singing. He went too high, then he realised he was too high, and went back to the proper key at 3:50. That being said, I like what he did with the 天 in "这一天" at 4:45. What do you call that technique/style/thingamajig-you-do-when-you-want-to-sound-pro? Er, rock? o.O Someone a.k.a. Huan describe that to me. Cos only she has the slightest interest in what I'm talking about here.) (And aren't you proud of me, Huan? I've learnt something about recognising keys and stuff! Although, I've forgotten the difference between key and pitch. Kindly repeat.) (And I'm still really impressed by 这天 and its power ballad-ness. It's very epic ~~(ESPECIALLY) despite the fact that their performing venue seems quite small~~. Ok on second look, I think it only looks small cos the person recording their performance was very near the stage. Still EPIC though! And the sound equipment wasn't really very good. Couldn't handle his voice. You'll see what I mean.)

Extra tidbit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kh6geZCn74&feature=related

xD

[edit]

I can't stand how I keep editting my post for every single little imperfection. Nitpicking. Grr. But just wanted to add this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p99JZptxeoQ&feature=channel_page

It has got a the different feel from the studio version. xD I love how they tweak their songs when they perform.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOr3tYUZTtQ&feature=related

Nice song! Lao ge! Even if you don't listen/watch the other videos at least watch this one! Although Ah Gong's dancing kinda makes me wince. o.o But it's also kinda amazing how flexible he is... All that flinging and twisting. And watching this vid made me realise 青峰 wasn't at his best at the MIDEM fair - not as emotive as usual - which was quite a pity. It was international exposure! Haha ok, I'm exaggerating.

[edit edit]

Argh! Again I got derailed. I wanted to continue the first paragraph by saying that emotions are fine and all, but songs aren't always about expressing feelings, and so music being purported as an international language is a fallacy anyway. How about satirical songs and political songs and songs with more content than emotions to relate? An example that springs to mind is Lily Allen. Sweet cutesy tunes with acerbic insights laced with irony. xD Songs like this can't be understood on its own at all, not without an accompanying explanation. And even then something would be lost in translation.

I need to buy me a kickass attitude.

2009-02-16T05:34:00.006+08:00

I just took some IQ tests, and I was relieved to see that my IQ hasn't dropped to zero during this (very long) period of brain inactivity. I took the same IQ test three times, and was somewhat discomforted by the fact that my IQ got lower and lower... From 136 to 130 to 120. -__- But I gauge the reliabilty of this test as an accurate reflection of my true IQ - if ever there really is such a thing - to be about 65%. The IQ test consisted of 6 sections - "analogies, math, factual knowledge, memory, sequential reasoning, and analogical reasoning", says the site - and while I understand that IQ cannot be solely judged based on the logical and reasoning abilities, I say pooh! to the analogies and factual knowledge sections. Pooh! The the factual knowledge section was highly America/Europe-centric. So was the analogies section. I mostly guessed my way through the questions. Here's the link if you want to try it out yourself.

http://www.highiqsociety.org/iq_tests/

Eg, OSS is to CIA what ______ is to the European Nations. WTH?? The only options I recognised were the Treaty of Versailles and Commonwealth. But it was pointless because I had no idea what OSS was.

Another example: The President is to the White House what the Vice-president is to _____. They might be banking a bit too much on America's prominence in the world. I thought this was supposed to be an International IQ society thing. I guessed the West Wing anyway.

One more example: The only country not colonised by the Europeans were: Laos, Vietnam, Malaysia, Thailand, and something else... I was weighing Malaysia and Thailand in my mind, and I chose Malaysia. -__- Although I have no recollection of Thailand being colonised (based on what I know), I decided on Malaysia because I reasoned that Raffles wouldn't have needed to buy Singapore (or something...) from some Sultan in Malaysia if it was colonised by Europeans. Zzz. Maybe I would have failed that section anyway if they had asked about Asia. But at least I know what ASEAN is!

There were questions asking things like where Mozart was born, (which I reasoned was a fair test of my GK because I would know if I read about/studied music, which I didn't. ...You do know the answer, don't you, Hui Huan?!) and the author/painter of a few works. Books like Canterbury Tales or Don Quixote or the painting Scream. I've only heard of Scream, and none of any of their options. -__- And there were questions like something is to Mark Twain what Eric Blair is to _____. Hello, I would probably know the answer if you put something like Li Bai is to poetry what Mao Zedong is to The Little Red Book. Ehs, maybe that wasn't an accurate analogy.

The Math section probably more than made up for those sections though. (You know what I mean.) But I don't think this substituting is particularly accurate. Zzz.

I tried their "test for above average abilities" too. And got 126. -__- Which goes to show how unreliable the tests are, if I could jump from 120 in the normal test to 126 in the difficult one. Ah well, if nothing, I got a bit of mental workout. That, coupled with a ~~job~~ jog (Why do I keep mis-typing it? It must be a sign. T.T) in the evening, means I spent a rather wholesome day. That is, if you count waking up at 3pm and eating only tea and dinner as wholesome. And staying up in the night. Till 4am. Or 5. T.T I've really got to reverse my body clock to normal. This can be greatly aided by the inclusion of a job in my life. T.T And moneh. Oh yeah. One can always do with money. Because moneh makes the world go round. Why have I become so obsessed about money! Sigh.

Khalil Fong really has great songs. I enjoy listening to his songs on the radio. Though I really don't get what they mean by his ability to charm women. He looks geeky. o.o In a kind of endearing way. But I don't feel charmed. And when you hear Eason Chan's songs sandwiched between manufactured crap like Fahrenheit and S.H.E. pop songs, you can't help but admire and appreciate his talent even more. Have listened to a whole night of YES 93.3 but have not heard a single sodagreen song. What does this indicate about their popularity in Singapore?? Although to tell the truth, I'm secretly pleased that ~~I still have sodagreen all to myself~~ sodagreen isn't yet crazily popular in Singapore. But there is no doubt that they are really popular in Taiwan now. They practically spent the whole of 2008 performing anyways. But maybe YES 93.3's song choices aren't really indicative of Singaporeans' opinion about sodagreen. Though I think their fanbase - by fanbase I mean those who actually have heard their other songs and and not those who have only heard of sodagreen's ballads and mistakenly believe sodagreen to be some lame shu qing band a.k.a. the band counterpart of Guang Liang or Zhang Dong Liang. Ew. Anyway, I believe their Singapore fanbase is definitely growing exponentially as well. Just look at their concert. 3000-strong crowd. Which is impressive for a band the average Singaporean has never heard of. Anyway the point of this little whisper of a gush is that I don't want to share. *pouts* Neil Gaiman, I can share. He is this big fatherly creature who entertain us kids (and occasionally writes porn) (See lah Jiani, I never used to think much about his porn writings. Your harping on it was unnecessary!) and you wanna show him off like a toy you are proud of. But not sodagreen. I shall hide them from the world's view like how a kid selfishly clutches a toy he doesn't want to share for fear of someone snatching it away. I like this exclusivity. Anywaaay, it's not like I especially want to hear what YES 93.3 chooses to play. It's not that I don't like 小情歌 or 无与伦比的美丽, or more recently, 简单生活. But everytime I hear them on 93.3, I'm reminded of how 93.3 chooses to portray them and the probable impression their average listener has of sodagreen - like I said, lame shu qing band. Which they are not! But this seems to conflicts with my wish that they remain unpopular in Singapore. I guess what I want is for them to be unknown than to be viewed as something they aren't. You can see the difference, right? The 100.3 listeners probably have a different impression though. But I'm not sure because I don't listen to 100.3, although I do know they were the first to introduce sodagreen songs to Singapore.

... Right, I don't supposed anyone managed to reach the end of this entry. Or probably skipped the entire last paragraph. Anyways, if there is anything to be said for it, Jay Chou used to be quite good. But now... Well it's not as if I care for his songs. And I hate how my entries tend to start out sounding stilted. Rarr. I can't do sophisticated and elegant writing. Like chuahejin. Or something. Or like Huan. She keeps her entertaining narrative so smoothly humourous. 'Kay, I shall end here before I lapse into self-bashing again. Nights.

I am a signal receiver now! (Apparently.)

2009-01-23T03:36:00.005+08:00

Sometimes I think I am prophetic. Or at least telepathic with my handphone. Or maybe I have been exposed to too much radiation from my phone and have now a mental connection with it. I would find myself reaching for my phone to check for messages, only for it to light up with a new message almost immediately, far too often for it to be merely coincidence. And this doesn't (only) happen when I've established a conversation, it also occurs when I haven't had any messages for a period of time. And since I am unlikely to have telepathy with the other party messaging me (or else we might as well converse using our mental connection, no?), I reason that it's more probable that I have become attuned to the waves that reaches my handphone without my knowing it. So the waves would trigger something in my brain that tells me to check my phone for messages, and lo-and-behold, a message!

Of course, this doesn't occur all the time, for every single message. Sometimes I can leave my phone aside for hours and forget all about it, but that usually only happens at home. I have also noticed that the above phenomenon is more likely to take place when I am outside alone. So you could say I notice this only because I reach for my phone more frequently, out of boredom, but take note that this also happens when I'm engrossed in my reading, or other things. (Ah.)

And now, on to other things.

I have actually baked a lot more things since my last post on baking. I'm trying awfully hard to stay away from chocolate recipes, though (I imagine) it's something like driving a car with a left-side bias. That is, towards the sidewalk. A recipe for disaster. (And I noticed the pun, thank you very much.) Anyway, I have stopped posting baking-related posts mainly because after the baking high faded, I couldn't really be bothered with the whole process of taking pictures and and uploading them and thinking about stuff to talk about. That doesn't mean that the baking has ended, though it has been put on hold due to excess baking lying around the house. There is only so much baked goods one can consume. The success rate still hovers at around 50-60%, in terms of results I'm really satisfied with. Success-as-in-passable is around 70-80%.

The other reason for the lack of baking posts is that I practically go around announcing my new baking anyway, and repeats make for boring posts, not to mention that the faded glow of new events make for tedious blogging. I'm also rather disturbed that acquaintances-who-belong-to-that-'other people'-category notice my stirrings. Yes, I realise I live in a very encapsulated world. So I shall keep a low profile on MSN from now on.

I've toed a few lines, and I've decided that right now, I'm only going to do cakes and brownies and maybe the occasional cookie, until I'm more confident about what I'm doing. Cakes are the most hassle-free, in that all that is needed to is to pour the batter into the pan and pop it in the oven. Whereas for cookies, you have to shape each one and that is very lengthy process. And I don't even want to think about bread. Tried one with pretzel dough, and I had more fun playing with the dough (at the beginning, until it became suspiciously elastic. Or unelastic, depending on how you look at it. And you know, I'm always rather suspicious about rather lengthy brackets. Ok I shall stop here.) than actually eating it. And dough needs to be set aside to rest for hours. Zzz. I'm not a patient girl.

Let's see, what else is there? ...My, I do go on a lot once I start. I've tried to break up the passages already, for those who are word-phobic. Or chunk-of-babble-phobic. Well if you are getting bored, here's a video to share with you, which I'm listening to right now as I blog.

Though if you are complaining about the amount of words after nagging me to blog, be Ashamed Of Yourself, because blogging is about words. Well it can apparently also be about bimbotic pictures, but I'm not where you should be coming to for bimbo pics. Try Dawn Yang or something.

Let's talk about movies. I've seemed to watch quite a bit more than my usual diet of movies. Mainly because I've downloaded quite a few movies, though I've about half left unwatched, which I shall watch soon. And then there was Ponyo, which is uber sweet, though the plot line had holes too gaping to pass for dreamy abstractness. Then again, another way of looking at the parent-parent interaction that was left unexplained is that the movie is perhaps played through the eyes of a child, and the discussions of adults are of no interest to children. xD

I just watched Red Cliff I on VCD, and I think the rating is ridiculous. Ridiculous, not in the sense that ratings are unnecessary, but because the rating was over concern for one bed scene rather than the prevalent violence. Takeshi Kaneshiro with a moustache is just rather funny-cute though.

By the way, the abuse of the English language has got to stop. ~~Dong~~ Don't say dong no more.

And my current job status is still Unemployed. Zzz. Ok, I'm definitely not trying hard enough, and also being a bit too picky. I don't have much idea how to get resources though. I've tried searching via the internet, sending a few messages, reading the classifieds, scanning nearby malls for job vacancies... Where do you find a job agency anyway? Someone somewhere please give me a recommendation. I'll share it with the world. Pass on the good deed. Be a Samaritan. Bake you more stuff. I'm still feeling kinda guilty about the limp cookies. Though they really are much better after a while in the oven! But you didn't use an oven... *hint hint*

I guess this shall be my accomplishment for the day (night actually). I actually managed to blog a - very substantial - entry without actually talking about what I intended to write when I typed the previous title the other day. Maybe that will be saved for another day.

Oh yes, and sodagreen was invited to Paris to perform in an international music event. So proud of them. ^^ Take THAT, Fahrenheit!

I really need a new notebook. Anyone wants to go to IMM with me tomorrow(technically today)?

ok i have already decided what to write about and i will get to it tomorrow but its too late now so i gotta sleep ok? omg

2009-01-20T03:41:00.003+08:00

I. Updated.

There.

So tag.

Edward Scissorhands

2008-12-31T02:58:00.006+08:00

Watch Edward Scissorhands. This is an order. xD

I initially thought it was a gothic horror movie, but it turned out quite comedic and heart-rending a show. Johnny Depp as Edward Scissorhands was brilliant, and the way he wielded those hands... o.o And he looked so pitiful with those scars and guileless eyes that it just kept the sympathy flowing.

I totally couldn't make out Johnny Depp from under layers of Edward. Maybe it's due to all the makeup, but I think it was more of the fact that he was much younger then. xD Ah but personally I feel he looks much better now, hehe. Isn't it so unfair how men age better than women? Rarr! Ah well but not all men do. Most just gain a pot belly and a balding head. Anyways I can understand why Johnny Depp keeps a moustache outside of acting, it distracts from his not-so-manly lips. Though I think they look kinda cute aha.

Anyways just watch Edward Scissorhands 'kay? Ask me for the file. xD And then after you have watched it, answer this question: Who does Kim (the teenage daughter) resembles? That thought stuck to me almost as soon as I saw her, then the answer struck me halfway through the film. The resemblance is really quite uncanny.

By the way, read Descending by Thomas M. Disch. Quite creepy indeed.

Society is the tool which humans oppress themselves with

2008-12-28T00:07:00.002+08:00

I wrote this last month it seems, and didn't get my butt to editting this until today. I didn't edit much either actually, just wanted to let it rest and make sure the content wasn't something I wrote in a fit of pique. So after more than a month, I can say that I agree with most of the ideas originally presented. Probably the only thing that really irks me is the terrible style of writing. Non-existent style, actually.

People who disgust me are those who follow a set of prescribed social responses tailored for specific types of situations. It's as if not sharing the same set of thinking as them is to be audaciously out of some murky undefined bounds within which they work in and expect me to comply with.

I really don't care for these superficial social decorums, especially between friends, but I see it in their eyes and expressions, looks that say "you are not acting like how a civilised person would behave, but I'll accept it as a quirk of yours". I believe the idea that people are socially repressed in some form or the other to be quite true indeed, idiosyncracies rapidly squashed by social expectations or, worse, self-censorship - the one thing that really kills creativity and independent thinking. I don't confess to be a role model of those qualities, but at least I recognise the dangers that lurk behind them.

In fact, I would say that by my own definition, I am quite a failure, censorship-wise. Unfiltered, my attitude is anything but mellow. I would love to counter every idea behind which reasoning is completely flimsy and pathetic. But again, society demands we be nice and all that crap and and I suffocate under layers and layers of niceties and artificiality untilhomgiwannadie.

I hate acquaintances, I hate small talk, I don't see the need for this politeness society decrees we perform. Sure, I see the practicality which it has in the working world, but what of acquaintances? Why do I have to care about leaving good impressions on people who I don't care for, won't remember, and frankly didn't remember at all? We are just conditioned to try keep our image in everyone's minds to be pleasant and honestly, nondescript. What is the damn point?

Those intense, thinking personalities I so look up to? Well all these ruminating has led me to realise the most effective way of engaging them is to be like them - unreserved, and if abrasive, so be it. It is paradoxical, but you can't just make friends with such people, because if you were able to do so just like that, they would probably be another one of those all-pleasing people. How many of these people, anyways, actually act the way they do because it comes naturally to them, or because they want to project a certain image to the world?

From a less agitated point of view, if such people weren't open-minded enough to accept different sorts of people and the reasons behind their behaviour, I won't care for them anyways. Abrasiveness without provocation is merely rudeness, and poseurish to boot. And the world is certainly divided into more types of people than merely those who act as they are and those who portray a false representation of themselves, and even such an act has varying motives behind it.

I can't stand that I'm only able to have superficial discussions with certain people, which, after a while, gets very mentally exhausting. There is nothing of substance to provoke the mind and allow a deeper insight into a different mentality. At best, it's small talk elevated to small-talk-with-background. It's like the difference between unseen prose and prose based on the book. You can't tell if there is some unseen barrier you are unable to cross, or if that person has only so much depth and you've discovered all there is to that person. Conversely, you can have intellectually stimulating conversations, yet leave with the feeling that there was no emotional connection. It's probably something to do with our own worlds which we are too wrapped up in. I would say one thing though, I haven't yet felt an emotional connection with anyone at all, really. When that happens, would the bridges of intellect and mind and superfluous societal needs have been crossed?

-- I can tell my post has no coherence and thoughts flow from one place to another and sometimes just plainly evaporated cos some points weren't full expounded. So the end result is rather choppy and practically unreadable. I know this rant feels just like a mish-mash of different ideas plucked from different sources, which is partially true cos I've been reading stuff today and yesterday and the day before that I just happen to agree with a lot. Don't flame me just cos I don't have a lot of original thoughts. Anyway I read somewhere that even authors are lucky just to have a few original ideas at all in their whole career (or was that per book?). So yeah, I'm excused.

Macarons, I shall conquer

2008-12-27T22:54:00.001+08:00

My new goal is to conquer macarons - no matter how many tries I need to perfect it. From what I can tell from all my googling, the secret lies in the folding, and achieving a magma-like consistency (but I'll be damned if I know how flowing magma looks like). It's just folding right? And the ingredients are so cheap, 10 failures will probably only cost five bucks, max. Though I hope I won't need 10 tries to achieve perfect macarons...

The difference between meringues and macarons, besides the ingredients, lies in the folding. Meringues ought to be folded so that its airy-ness is hardly affected at all, letting as little air as possible escape. While macarons can't be folded too little or too much, releasing just the right amount of air until it achieves the magma consistency so desired by all macarons fanatics.

And if Phoon Huat has (cheap) egg white powder, I'm so getting some.

Cookies

2008-12-24T21:41:00.000+08:00

Meant to post this before I went for Genting but never got round to it.

The container was almost full, and in 2 days my sister brought it to this state. -__- She says it's really nice, but I don't think it's that fantabulous. The chocolate taste wasn't really there at all. I guess that's cos cocoa powder was used instead of chocolate. And she finished the rest by the next day. -__- The meringue cookies above were much better. Dissolves in your mouth like that.

So that makes 3 baking-related post in a row. And rising pretzel dough is waiting for me in the kitchen right now. o.o

Muffins!

2008-12-01T19:32:00.004+08:00

Look! Baking muffins!

Raspberry-topped lemon muffins:

Haha I really like this one, the raspberry's sourness contrasting with the sweet tang of lemon is mmm mmmh!

Banana-macadamia nut muffins:

Yay they actually look like banana muffins, brown insides with black thread-like bits. Don't really understand why they're like that but they are nice anyway! I think the banana flavour could have been stronger, but my sister says it's just right.

Tadah! The fruits of my labour! (and my sis)~~(cos I know she is reading this)~~ 34 muffins in total. Woah come to think of it, that sounds like quite a lot. xDD

Ahh, not a very wordy post cos I'm kinda tired from an afternoon of baking. (But still very satisfied) Haha!

More baking stuff!

2008-12-01T11:30:00.003+08:00

This is a little update before I embark on my muffin making journey today. xD

So these are the recipes I'm using:

Raspberry-topped lemon muffins and

Banana-macadamia nut muffins Yay!

Surprising, isn't it? There not being any chocolate in sight. I'm quite surprised myself, actually. xD So let's hope I succeed again lalas.

Actually talking about succeeding... Hehe... I realise that for the brownie I made the other time, when the recipe called for a stick of butter, they meant 120g of butter. And I thought it meant for me to dump a whole block of butter into it, which was 250g worth of sinfulness. xD No wonder I kept thinking it looked more like a brick than a stick of butter. Darn the U.S. and their stupid cooking measurements. Why can't they be more precise? Mehs.

Oh yes anyways, I dreamt that I was taking the G.P. compre paper again. -__- Weird, I know. And I was panicking so I couldn't do the questions, and I kept talking to the person beside me and the teachers didn't notice. I think I made it to the third question before I realised it was a dream haha. Then the dream ended and turned into another dream which I forgot. Lalas.

Brownie and me~

2008-11-21T21:29:00.002+08:00

So holidays have come around and I finally made brownies! Haha! I'm actually more excited about having actually baked brownies than the actual taste of it. xD I put a little too much coffee, so the coffee taste turned out rather strong. And it didn't help that my random selection of ground coffee happened to yield the strongest and most bitter coffee, as my mum later told me. I guess there is a big difference between using ground coffee and instant mix, as the recipe suggested. xD And the top was rather too crispy, and unlike the one I tried at Cafe Galilee. Though it is a different recipe afterall, and the site I got my recipe from did show a cripsy top. And the overall taste was rather overpowering, even for me. I guess it's cos I used semi-sweet chocolate, But anyways my mum said it was quite good for a first attempt, so I'm happy! (Though I think she was being patronising, but ah well.)

Sooo.. Here's a picture, photoshopped by Nini the Wise:

Ladeedas, mouth watering isn't it. xD

About apathy and other stuff

2008-11-14T01:49:00.005+08:00

My mum just said something that got me thinking. She was talking about some celebrity gossip, and I told her not to be so kaypoh, and she said, sometimes it's good to be kaypoh, instead of not caring about anything at all. Which is good advice on its own, but not very justifiable in context. -__- It is a fault I am sometimes guilty of actually. xD Ah but apathy's a fault of most youths so I guess it's excusable?

And I want a low and sultry voice. With rich, creamy undertones. And with the heavy lusciousness of warm liquid dark chocolate. Oh yum. Ok I've effectively derailed my own train of thought. Ah whatever, this is really just a random post. xD I shall aim to start blogging more consistently often from Tuesday onwards. And regardless (don't you just hate it when people go "irregardless!". What the hell, look at the end of the word, the suffix -less is already there to convey the same meaning you were trying to bring across with ir-.) of whatever I wrote in the previous post, I shall try to jump start my life and get it moving forward again. I want to keep a pet! (Though I'll have to review my options. xD)

Or a husky voice. I don't mind that either. :D

edit-- You know, I actually have two in the works Auntie Dawn letters. But I might scrap them, they aren't going nowhere. Sigh.

Just allow me to let it out, and I'll return to mugging

2008-11-11T22:47:00.007+08:00

Hi. It's the eve of the economics case study paper and the essay paper has only just ended. I know I should be studying even harder for the case study paper after that disastrous essay paper, but I'm just kind of sick of it all. It just feels so hopeless. Not just econs. Everything else, it seems. I know the econs paper was very difficult, and everyone complained about it, but I somehow just feel like my definition of difficult is probably way different from others'. Like they are afraid they can't get B or something, and I'm afraid I can't even pass. I left about half of the freaking paper blank, and half of what I already did was rubbish and totally didn't reflect what I did know of the subject. At least a finished question would give more marks... And simultaneously, econs is much more important to me than the majority of people with 4H2s, who can just leave econs out of their final computation of 3H2s. And there is GP, which on hindsight, seems to have been even more pathetic than I had imagined. I can't get into English or whatever damn arts course I want to go to with a freaking C in gp (I dare not even think about anything lower than that). It's like whatever is most important, I screw up. And even those which I feel I did alright in (relative to gp and econs), alright is not enough, because of the other people who whizzed through those very papers, who will grab all the top grades and not-so-top grades, and leave me the scraps to pick up. Bell curve bell curve... It's just really a threadbare mantra I constantly mutter to myself to remain hopeful about what is yet to come. I'm not actually pessimistic, in events of extreme desperation I'm actually quite optimistic. It is of this optimism which I'm quite ashamed of, simply because I have no personal qualities to base this hope on. There's a distinction between prufrockism and facing up to reality. And I feel ashamed whenever I plan whatever fun I'm going to have after next Tuesday, because I don't feel like I've earned it. And I feel like whatever fun I will have after then will be tainted with a tinge of guilt. It seems to me as if I'm probably going to repeat the As, the idea of which is fine with me personally, it's the idea of society's perception and cursory dismissal which I am afraid, so quick to fling people into labelled boxes and serve up a dose of lethal contempt. Fine, I was lazy and didn't work as hard as I should have, and one month of mugging probably wasn't sufficient to make up for 2 years of mistakes. I have nothing to say to that, because nothing I say can change that fact. And then I wonder, is it better to have tried and failed, or not try hard enough and fail? Or to have done so, and try again and succeed, and know that you would have succeeded the first time if you had tried. I know there is a very real possibility of my having to retake the As, and I can't blame no one but myself. And it's disgusting to be displaying my failure here to people who I know would privately respond with said societal views. It's like hanging dirty linen in public, it's like parading myself in the streets to be ridiculed. And I know I'm wasting time here when I should be mugging instead, but I just need to let it all out. And I really don't care if you sympathise with me, or think I deserve what I got, or simply think I am a silly, overdramatic emo-kid.

--edit: I might consider moving to wordpress soon. Password-protected posts sound quite tempting.

A totally egocentric post

2008-10-10T00:10:00.006+08:00

I love soft toys. So I don't know why I practically never get any for birthdays. Why oh why?! Taking the number of presents I get per year to be 3-4 and base year to be Sec 1, considering I only got 1 soft toy ever,

(P=soft toy received as present)
= 1 / (6 x 3)
= 1/18!! (Ok fine, I know the equation doesn't look very impressive, but I don't have a lot of factors to work with :( )

That is uber sadd!! This is simply unacceptable! The one toy I have has been hugged to death and has visited the washing machine numerous times. I want the kind of bed which has dozens of soft toys surrounding my pillow! I like soft, huggable ones, not the kind which is so stuffed with cotton that its harder than a rock, and nice soft, furry fabric, not the kind which is just flat and cottony and so blah. Fineee I know this is so superfical, being choosy about presents and what not, but while it's nice to get presents at all, it's nicer to get something you really like right?

Some people are the type which likes practical, usable things. I can totally reassure you that I'm not like that at all. That does not mean I like dumb statues that are only good for putting on mantelpieces (not that I have one) and dusting every once in a while (not that I would bother). Decorative pieces are very boring. You can't do anything with one but stare at it. I like physical interactions! I like touching and feeling soft, comfortable, furry, huggable things!*

This has turned out to be a rather self-centred post. =X In fact, I would encourage you to put up your own explanation of what presents you like on your blog too. It makes present-shopping so much easier. But then again it gets annoying too when you keep getting the same present over and over again when you voice out your opinions about this kind of thing. Yes, I know, I just contradicted myself. Don't you just hate it when someone says something but then not like it when you've done the exact thing she wanted? xD

*This does not mean I will object to a lovely sodagreen album. Or two. Or three. Or the entire concert DVD set. xDD

bits and pieces

2008-10-08T00:41:00.004+08:00

Yes, I really think I need a vacation. No more Auntie Dawn, at least not until after the As... Really have no mood for sarcasm and wit when the looming shadow of impending doom that is the As is hovering threateningly behind me. >.<

Random trivia: What my Dove shampoo does that you never knew it could do - bleach fingernails. When I immerse my fingers into the mountainous foam piled on my head, they come out with clean white fingernails which were previously kinda yellowish. Or maybe it's just the light.

And by the by, I wanted to blog about how a lot of people just use stock phrases without thinking about the meanings of the individual words that contribute to the overall idea of the phrase. But I can't remember the example I thought of the other time, so this little musing without examples is the best you can get from me now.

Changed my blogskin~

2008-09-03T22:30:00.005+08:00

I am on a blogging ~~steak~~ streak indeed. Haha. xD

Anyways remember how in my previous post I said I recommended Neverwhere for you to read? Well well well, lady luck's on our side! They now have an online version of Neverwhere for you to read! For one month only though! So hurry and download today! ~~I sound like an advertisement.~~

Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde

2008-09-02T01:54:00.006+08:00

I'm on a blogging streak. Haha. After that one quote by Oscar Wilde, I can't help but look through the rest of his quotes and pick out a few interesting ones:

“I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.”
- Lol, agree agree!

“Everything popular is wrong.”
- I find myself wanting to agree absolutely with this absolute, but that is absolutely inappropriate.

“Society exists only as a mental concept; in the real world there are only individuals.”

“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
-Lol ok witty.

“She lacks the indefinable charm of weakness.”
“A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.”
“They spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever.”
- It is here where I vehemently disagree with his views on females. Especially the first quote. Can you say MCP?

“Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative.”
“Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.”
- Lol, and 100 years later, the weather is still an available topic for discussion.

“I don't want to earn my living; I want to live.”
- Lala, idealistic but I agree so much! But if he means "earn my living" in the sense of being super rich instead of not even having enough money to survive, then I completely agree.

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
- This is still completely true in this age. Can you imagine? I repeatedly see such comments about the masses, how they follow the crowd and don't think for themselves. Ok lah, not really repeatedly, but I did see it in Enemy of the People my secondary Eng Lit text. Anyways let me pause for a bit here, I want to rant about this. Sometimes I get so irritated when I do/say/talk about something and the people around me look/sound like I committed some huge sin cos my opinions are different from the norm and aren't compliant with how they view society is supposed to work. Gah! The stupid Singaporean always-go-with-the-flow-regardless attitude!

*Cools down* Ah anyway, go look at the wiki page for Oscar Wilde, he has a v. cool haircut. I think you can call it a classic, seeing how it'll probably not look out of place in modern context. And anyways, I read halfway then cannot read anymore quotes liao, cos the website requested MONEY for it. Walao.

Dum dee dum. I wanna read/watch stuff! Lemme just put down my list of wants here before I forget!

Reads:
~~The Importance of Being Earnest (play)~~
De Profundis
The Letters of Oscar Wilde
The Canterville Ghost
The Kite Runner
American Gods/Anansi Boys/The Graveyard Book (All Neil Gaiman books can be grouped as one. BY THE WAY I recommend Neverwhere!)

Watch:
Juno
Billy Eliot
Ratoutuille
The Dark Knight

In which a banana and a bunny philosophise about science and arts

2008-09-02T00:31:00.009+08:00

K let me introduce you guys to a couple of the many voices in my head. Sometimes they like to have conversations/ debates/ lectures/ yaddayaddayadda. I shall transcribe one of their chats here. Let's call them Banana and Bunny.

Banana: In science, or at least in this very basic syllabus we are studying, there is only one fixed answer. You are either right or wrong. There is no room for discussions, opinions or alternative views. Science doesn't NEED your opinion; offer one, and It'll take it, throw it on the floor, stomp on it and decimate it thoroughly, and fling it into the dustbin. Whereas art subjects eg. Eng Lit and History, would allow different, sensible interpretations of the same piece of information presented. It doesn't restrict you and lead you to only one answer, like blinders to a horse's eyes. Science doesn't develop your ability to form intelligent opinions at all! (And GP is doing a terrible job of it)

Bunny: But but but science hones logical and systematic thinking! Without which there would be disorder and chaos!

Banana: I could care less about logic. Creativity emerges from and THRIVES on chaos! Ok, so I concede that a certain level of order should be present to prevent society from collapsing, but a totally scienti-fied society would just be living a day-to-day life, merely existing. As Oscar Wilde says, "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." I don't want to exist, I want to LIVE!

Bunny: But science can be wielded by creativity to create and invent. Look at the lightbulb!

Banana: You aren't listening. We can't do anything right now with our lousy minimal A level knowledge.

Bunny: Then learn more!

Banana: Not interested.

Bunny: However, you cannot discredit the benefit of sci-

Banana: Irrelevant, like I said.

Bunny: Well, uh, it isn't very nice to crit-

Banana: I don't care! Arts encourages opinions, science does not! And therein lies the superiority of the Arts to the Sciences! THE END!

The winner is obvious. Sorry. You can see my brain doesn't come up with very good pro-science arguments. xD Don't take this extreme argument and its very limited parameters very seriously. If you want an in-depth analysis of the discussion, click HERE. I don't. xD And doesn't HE (the writer) look mysterious? Lol xDD

By the bye, I'm SO gonna buy Tales of Beedle the Bard! Haah!

Cut it up! Cut it up! Cut it up!

2008-08-26T23:27:00.003+08:00

Teh only thing keeping me going right now is the thought of cutting up my notes after A levels. No, I'm serious. I'm gonna buy a scrapbook and cut up my notes and paste stuff from them in the scrapbook. I shall call it Teh Chronicles Of My NJ Life. You shall all see it when it is complete and done. :)

On a separate note, please please please please anyone or anyone you know going to Taiwan anytime this year? Please help me buy stuff please please please! I am des-perate. Purlease? With whipped cream and a cherry on top? With a lashing of chocolate fudge sauce? And a twinkie.

I can't believe I'm blogging at midnight when there is a paper tomorrow. PWN ALL!!! (Lol that is the name of Zixin's Charizard. Along with cuttreeguy the Bulbasaur. Isn't her sense of humour hilarious? xD)

A poll

2008-08-07T16:14:00.001+08:00

Lala, a poll to commemorate the 11th Auntie Dawn post! Ok actually I just wanted to make a poll. XD Though I have a feeling that there will be more options than votes. Ah well. xD

Favourite Auntie Dawn letter?

Mr. Pan Tee
Lovebird
Mr. B.O.'s Friend
Gownie
Indignant Boyfriend
Troubled Fangirl
Xiia0meiimEiixXx
Moley Girl
Deranged Shorty
Confused Donald
Sad Boy

view results

Pan Tee?

2008-08-06T23:06:00.006+08:00

I shall make this short cos I'm rushed for time.

Auntie Dawn is back from hiatus! xD Enjoy!

Auntie Dawn

Dear Auntie Dawn,
I have a confession to make. I have an unhealthy, unholy, but not at all unhappy fetish for underwear. (^_^) Female underwear. I collect panties like how my friend collect female hair. Which is to say I do that a lot. My panty collection so far includes lacy, red underwear, ruffly G-strings, holey panties and oh oh oH OH! My favourite one is the white one with pink bunnies stitched on it! It even has a white bunny tail at the back!! And the fron- No! Auntie Dawn! You must save me from the unholy clutches of this obsession! I'm desperate!!

Help needed,
Mr. Pan Tee

Dear Mr. Pan Tee,
My favourite pair of underwear is actually green and frilly in front and has lovely sequins stitched on it BUT NO YOU CANNOT HAVE IT! AHA! That was a test to gauge the severity of your reaction! Now according to the degree of your response, choose a suitable course of action from the list below and follow its instructions:

1. You start having images of green, fully detailed underwear in your head. If so, wash your eyes out with Dettol to clear your vision of dirty images. (Disclaimer: Auntie Dawn is not responsible for any side effects this might cause, say oh, blindness.)

2. You start to have sick fantasies of adding said underwear to your mountainous collection of panties and revel in fancies of swimming in soft silky underwear. Atone for your sin by plucking all your body hair until you are clothed in nothing but your shame. Now go swim along that stretch of bacteria-infected water at Pasir Ris Beach, and let the bateria swim into your enlarged pores until inflamed. I hope you itch.

3. You salivate and experience an increased heartbeat, breathlessness and dizziness. You start to be unable to tell fantasies from reality. You go outside and run amok, looking up at skirts and grabbing at jeans to hunt for green underwear. In such a situation, wait for death. Good riddance. And wipe that sick smiley emoticon off your face.

And since you are going to die soon anyways, you might as well leave me that oh-so-cute bunny underwear in your will as payment for my advice. You have Auntie Dawn's thanks!

Yours gratefully,
Auntie Dawn

I lost my handphone

2008-08-02T01:01:00.008+08:00

... Or rather, it was stolen.

... What else can I say? People like to think this sort of thing happens to others but never to themselves, but apparently, this isn't the case any longer. I was at the Jurong East Library, and I fell asleep at the table with my handphone next to me cos I was so tired, and when I woke up an hour and a half later, it was gone. Seriously, it's such a horrible, old, lousy phone now; I would never have expect someone to steal it. I mean, who would buy it? I'm not concerned with the monetary value of what I've lost, it's probably only worth $20 now, all battered and bruised. What I've lost are my contacts and pictures and saved SMSes and birthday dates - my personal life. There is the SMS by Kellie on her birthday that I've kept, there are the saved random titles Huan and I came up with that I planned to use one day, there are pictures and pictures of many, many, many treasured memories.

I don't understand, is $20 such a big deal? ... Actually I do get it, the person who stole the phone presumably being a, likely neightbourhood, secondary school student, $20 is probably enough for a new shirt and a fast food meal, and apparently that's reason enough for them to commit a crime. I would hardly think the person who stole is extremely poor, more like one of those stupid lians or bengs who needed extra money to buy the stupid new shirt they liked. Do they not realise it's more than a phone they are stealing, or do they know but simply not care? I would say the latter is far more harmful, but it's pointless to create such a distinction when the end result is the same to me.

I know, I guess I could be positive and treat this as a lesson, and be thankful it was with a old phone with which the lesson was learnt, and not with a new phone, but 我很不甘心，我还是不甘心. I'm bitter and I'm lost and I hate that this had happened. So guys, help me out by passing me on msn your home+handphone numbers.

-----

I shall wake up in the morning and forget about this and the unhappy feelings. I shall wake up in the morning feeling happy and excited because sodagreen's concert is finally here, and I'll go to the concert carefree and care-less and enjoy it thoroughly.